Please Don't Text Me

On New Year’s Eve, I was flipping through the pictures in my Facebook album. It calms my heart to relive my happiest moments. I took a long pause at the picture of you and your daughter. I started to think

• Does she have these pictures in her possession?
• Should I forward these pictures to her?

I didn’t act on it because I knew it’d never go beyond messages. For the last four years, I’ve wanted more than that.

Two days later, yesterday, I received a message from you. Was it the universe listening to my feelings or was it yet another conspiracy to break my heart? It can’t be a coincidence because it’s been 418 days since I’ve heard from you. I took the boldest move. Instead of asking, “If you’re free, can we talk on phone?”, I said, “If you’re free, we can talk on phone.”

After deliberating for 30 minutes, you replied, “Okay Sanju. We will talk soon. Take care.” Could you ever bring yourself to say a no? Please don’t break my heart over and over again.

I’m living on the edge of your worst fears for the last 2 years. My life is now all about anticipating the pain that you realized 4 years ago. I went to the same temple that you go to at your city. I believed I can reach your ears if I begged till my knees bled in front of the altar of your favourite god.

Please don’t text me if your choice is to stay a renegade.

Please don’t text me if you can’t move on.

Please don’t text me if you ever loved me.

Please don’t let me give up on you.